Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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