you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
