And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This baby is an asshole
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
