i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
