fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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