So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize