good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
