I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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