i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
