so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
