What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
