Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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