somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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