Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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