The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
