Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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