Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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