2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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