I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
