Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize