Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
