Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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