We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Can I color on your dick again?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
