I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
