He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Randomize
