I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
