What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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