Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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