Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
