I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
