She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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