I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
