hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
