my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
