Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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