Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
