She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
