Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
