I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
