I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
