Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
