We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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