I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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