No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
