Who wears a wallet chain?!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she peed on how many people?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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