Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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