Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
