Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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