i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
