Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
