i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
