If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
