tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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