p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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