everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
