ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
