we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
