I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
