No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
