i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
a search helicopter?!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
