Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
