so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
