my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
