I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
