we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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