Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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